A maternal bond is the relationship, the connection that exists between a mother and her child. Mother and baby bond is a vital process for the survival of the baby, and in fact for the survival of all humanity. It is the first recognition of love that we have in our life, which begins even before pregnancy, in the time a mother is thinking about having a child, and then it unfolds during pregnancy, and in the early infancy. The first three years of a baby’s life outside the womb are critical for his development not only physically but also emotionally.
In pregnancy, you
will be caring for your baby in your womb
In labor, you will be caring for your baby transition to this world
After pregnancy, you will be welcoming your baby to your world
And this whole process is about bond and connection!
Often mothers continue to experience this intimate connection with their baby throughout life when the child is already an adult. The mother continues to sense and feel their child. There are cases for example when some major happenings or accidents occur and a mother feels in her heart that something is not right with her now grown-up child, even living miles apart.
The bonding process has tremendous implications for both mother and baby and is affected by many factors of the mothers live such us:
. her environment
. her relationships
. her lifestyle and personality
. her physical and emotional state
. her strengths
. her anxieties and fears
Bonding problems may occur when a woman is under stress or pressure for a long period of time. A mother may feel a lack of connection or even no connection with her unborn baby. She does not adjust her life to her new needs, she may resist making changes to her baby’s needs or even she feels as if she is not pregnant at all -although she is.
Factors such as a traumatic birth, the mother's childhood, stress, lack of support and the influence of her partner or family can weaken the bond. A mother that does not respond to her baby’s connection and needs is more likely to suffer from post-partum depression and less likely to overcome breastfeeding challenges.
We can identify these potential problems before pregnancy, during pregnancy, and of course in the postpartum period, and getting assistance to heal old wounds or patterns, to unfold the bonding process, to feel connected with our baby, and improve the bonding process is a great way to turn the whole experience of motherhood in a more positive and fulfilling one, not having the need to pass old patterns to the next generation.
Pregnancy and the whole experience of motherhood is the greatest transformational journey you will ever know!
Pregnancy is a great time to get to know ourselves better and our own transformation as a women to a mother, to take good care of our feelings, creating a safe space to express ourselves and incorporate new positive sensations and emotions in our body and mind, that will ultimately influence our baby inside experience inside and the baby perspective of the world outside.
Even when a mother is not feeling the bond with her baby inside, she needs to understand that the bond is already there, the experience of motherhood has already started and mother and baby are now in a fusion of body, emotions, thoughts and energy.
Everything that a mother does in her pregnancy will ultimately influence her baby’s life forever. When a mother overcome challenges during pregnancy she is teaching her baby that we can overcome emotional fears and blocks, stimulating her baby’s sense of self-love, self-worth, and trust, making a more positive connection with her child.
In my sessions, new mothers feel challenged to experience the bonding process since the begining of their pregnancy, and the bond can be strengthen over time. It is a matter of becoming more aware, sensitive and use simple techniques to increase the potential of the bonding process. This may take a few hours or a few weeks, but this communication happens not only in the physical level, but also on the emotional, mental and energetic levels.
The emotional bond begins way before the physical connection that usually is experienced around 18 to 25 weeks when the mother begins to feel the baby movements.
period is the time of the transformation of our body, and
also of our mind and of our lives, it is the time when we
get what we need to personally grow and, sometimes, not what
we wanted or what we thought it would be. Every woman should
be aware of the intimate power that relies on her whole
motherhood journey and the connection she already has with
her unborn baby, to allow it to happen, to flow freely in
her life, and not be scared of it or resist it.
Your baby is going to be your best teacher!
Your baby is also here to help you on your personal growth, to help you to find better ways to make changes in your life that will fulfill both of your needs and will support you to live your best life with your baby.
The more a woman is more present in the moment, when a woman is consciously able to slow down, the more she will be bonded with her baby inside and the better they both will connect later outside. Mother and baby are working as a team, and the mother can be aware of her baby’s needs or discomforts even before birth, her baby’s “yes”s and “no”s.
communicate with their mothers throughout pregnancy,
they are fully conscious and sensitive beings, with their own needs and feelings.
Science now tells us what a lot of women have been sensing for centuries, that the unborn baby responds to touch, to movement, and also that babies inside are in fact aware of the mother's state of mind through different factors such as her heartbeat, her voice, the way she reacts and moves. The hormonal connection that both have helps the mother to calm down her baby if the baby is unsettled, and the baby sends hormonal signals to the mother to help her to manage stressful situations, and balance her hormonal system too.
The birth of a child will always transform your life forever, no matter what you do, it will influence you, your partner and family, and ultimately change the reality of the world you are living in. It is through the love and the bond between a mother and her baby that we experience for the first time what love truly is, and understanding the potential of the bonding process is vital to build a better world, with more affection, love, and connection.
About the Author
Susana Lopes is a prenatal educator, prenatal and post-natal yoga teacher, author of the book “Yoga e Maternidade” and President of the Norwegian Association of Prenatal Education. She is also a speaker and advocate for pregnant moms and their conscious babies. Her present work includes guiding women to effectively release stress and anxiety from their body and improve their overall health and connection with their baby.